Hey, I’m Katt.

Ever since I became a Mum, I find that I have this unordinary outlook on life.
Mainly because my first little girl isn’t with me, she lives in the sky.

This blog is a journey through life and motherhood that I never quite imagined.
With a million and one coincidences, and a few surprises along the way.
Expect some tears, a bit of laughter and most definitely some swearing.

The Unexpected Leap.

They say that sometimes, some things are just meant to be… that the Universe sends us exactly what we are ready for, at the exact time we need it in our lives… Writing this now, I cannot get over how unbelievably true that is. We were in a situation where there were no more tests … Continue reading The Unexpected Leap.

Auntie Jane.

Never in a million years did I think that I’d be writing another post so soon about losing somebody close to me. You’d think that after experiencing so much in life, there would come a time when things would change, you’d eventually catch a break and better things would start happening instead. But here we … Continue reading Auntie Jane.

Tests, Waiting & Shitty Odds.

It was around 8 months after losing Ivy when we received a letter to tell us that unfortunately there was nothing more anyone could do that would tell us what happened to our daughter and why. There were no more tests available and no more DNA left to use. The conclusion was that if we … Continue reading Tests, Waiting & Shitty Odds.

Empty Arms.

When I read about other peoples experiences of baby loss, their stories seemed to end after they’d given birth and said goodbye. It almost felt as though that was the final chapter, the hardest part was now over and somehow you were just expected to head straight back into reality and carry on. However for … Continue reading Empty Arms.

Our Daughter, Ivy.

I think it’s only appropriate to put a trigger warning at the beginning of this post, because it includes full details of terminating a very much wanted pregnancy for medical reasons during the third trimester and giving birth to a stillborn baby. I’ve spent quite a while wondering whether I should go into so much … Continue reading Our Daughter, Ivy.

The Shit Bit in the Middle.

I’d read that sugary drinks sometimes give babies a bit of a buzz, so I starting gulping down full fat coca-cola whilst we sat in the waiting room of fetal medicine – I wanted to do everything and anything possible that would make this baby move during the scan so we could all go home … Continue reading The Shit Bit in the Middle.

My First Pregnancy.

I didn’t sleep well the first night after finding out I was pregnant because I was super anxious and I had no idea what to expect now. Was I supposed to feel sick straight away? When would a bump appear? I’d never been pregnant before so I had no idea what happened when, and only … Continue reading My First Pregnancy.

Baby Dust.

To be honest, I’d never really thought that much about babies before. So many people around me have chosen different paths through life. Some have always wanted children so from the moment they could, they did. Some decided to get married and have their first few years baby-free and enjoy money that little while longer. … Continue reading Baby Dust.

The American Dream.

I married James on 7th October 2017, just over a year after losing my Dad. It was a pretty wonderful occasion despite the fact it absolutely peed it down all day and I fell flat on my arse in front of everybody during the ceremony! The day itself was amazing, as was my Mum. She … Continue reading The American Dream.

My Dad.

I could spend hours and hours telling you stories about how awesome my Dad was, just so you could get to know him that little bit more, but instead I’ll just give you a really quick overview… Son, brother, husband, father, friend, crime fighter, holiday organiser, nominated driver, part-time dancer, chief dog walker, driving instructor, … Continue reading My Dad.

When You Lose Somebody.

When I think about all the terrible things that can happen during someones lifetime, I may be being bias but I think losing a baby is up there with the worst of them. I feel I can say this quite confidently because unfortunately, losing a baby wasn’t the first heartbreaking thing to happen to me. … Continue reading When You Lose Somebody.

The First Entry.

I’ve always been someone that loves to write, but I’ve never really had much to write about. I’ll start a diary in January and because my life was pretty mundane, I’d give up by March. I mean who wants to read about getting up and going to work or what I had on for tea … Continue reading The First Entry.

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